Thoughts & Words I Had During My First 70.3 Triathlon

Before the race started:

    • Those bikes are really fancy. I’m feeling kind of out of place here.
  • I’m just going to pretend I’m racing all by myself, never mind all these elite looking athletes with their fancy schmancy bicycles.

The Swim:

    • Sh#t. My nose-plug is slipping off. I’ll just swim without it.
    • Nope. “COME ON YOU DAMN NOSE PLUG! STAY. THE. F#CK. ON. I  AM DOING THIS TODAY.” (The actual words came out of my mouth while I was stopped in the middle of the water watching everyone swim further and further away from me.)
    • Why is everyone so far to my left. Ugh. I thought this turn was going to be perpendicular.
    • Ok, I’m passed the turn, I just have to swim forward. I swam this a couple weeks ago, easy peasy.
    • WHAT THE….(some guy on my left managed to swim right on to me and punch me on the right side of my face.
    • Ok, just adjust my goggles, check that my nose isn’t bleeding, ugh, they are leaking. Where is a boat when I finally want one? Oh, I’ll just breaststroke to that one over there.
    • “Can I hold onto the boat for a moment?” “Oh, never mind, I can stand.”
    • That was awkward.
  • F#ck off!  (as I vigorously kicked my feet at anyone who dared brush me with their fingers…I might have been a tad bit paranoid after the punch to the side of the head.

Transition One:

    • Gosh, why is my stuff all the way at the back? I have to walk an entire block just to get my bike.
  • Oh man! Do I have to pee? But…body, couldn’t we have communicated that before I got out of the water?

The Ride:

    • Ahh, this is nice. I like cycling. Excellent time for some treats and pretty views.
    • Those are some fancy bikes passing me.
    • More fancy bikes passing me.
    • Is it really necessary for us to know how old the person passing you is? I mean…I don’t think that 72-year old that just passed me is boosting my confidence in any way…especially because I do not think I have the energy to go faster than I currently am.
    • Ok, seriously, how many people can there possibly be left to pass me.
  • Weeeeeeeeeeeee! Downhills are the greatest!

Transition Two:

    • Ugh. My stuff is still too far and now I have to get there wearing these shoes.
    • Again! Why didn’t I know before I got off the bike that I had to pee again?
    • Ok, you got this legs. Take a breath. Slowly lift your foot to put your shoes on. (As I desperately try to stay balanced holding onto the portapotty in order to get my shoes on.)
  • I’m just going to take my time eating this gel as I walk over the run exit.

The Run:

    • Ok. Running. I got this.
    • I don’t really want to get sprayed with that water, I’m going to go around.
    • I should have let myself get sprayed by that water a few kilometers back, it is scorching hot.
    • I think it is reasonable for me to drink water while walking. As soon as it is done I will run again. (And that is what I did every time. Eventually, I would drink Gatorade and poor water on myself while walking and start running as soon as I hit the garbage pail at the end of the tables.)
    • About 12km in: I’m not sure if it is necessary to run a half marathon after all that swimming and cycling.
    • Light Bulb Moment: I think people choose to do crazy races like this because it is a challenge they choose for themselves and then conquer, giving them the strength and confidence they need when life throws hurdles at them unexpectedly.
    • I think I might stick to Olympic Distance Triathlons. I’m glad I’m doing this. I can do this. But, this is just a long time to be running.
    • So many turns to the finish line. I just want to see it, just a tiny glimpse. Oh, there it is. I’m just going to speed up and finish this thing.
  • Great. Done. Water? Yes, please! Oooh, and Gatorade. I never drink Gatorade, but today, this stuff is like the golden elixir.

The Day After:

    • This is definitely a cool shirt. I really like this hat they gave me too. I don’t even like hats. But I like this one.
    • Jenna said to wait until tomorrow, I’ll change my mind about not wanting to do another 70.3 Ironman. I don’t know about that.
    • I feel super badass wearing this shirt.
  • D#mmit Jenna. You are right. I think I want to do another one.

And there concludes my thoughts and words on the matter. Until the next race, good day!


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